The Unfortunate Incidence of Santine Medvedev

 Th e Unfortunate Incidence of Santine Medvedev



 Santine Medvedev had made one mistake too many. He was sitting in a shop called Lenin’s and Things He was across from the restaurant where he had just eaten, Red Square Lobster. This an ideal place to begin his anti Nikola Propaganda. Unknown to him though, he would not be pushing up his anti Czarideals, but Pushing up Daisies.



 The St Petersburg “SovietCity Mall” was designed like a modern city; however, it only had one entrance and one exit, that is available to the public. Santine's pursuers though, were not the public. As he walked he saw the annoying signs “Like a good neighbor Stalin Farm is there” and his least favorite by his nemesis, Nikola Medvedev “Don't have a revolution Russia remember animal farm.” as well as “Big Brother is watching you. Nikola is watching Big Brother”. He chose the revolution sign. He prepared to cross out the n’t in don’t. As he hit the sign, a jolt of electricity coursed out and stunned him.



 Several KGB guards walked out and strapped him to an electric chair on wheels. He was paraded down the street. As he was marched out he was shocked by the chair. Finally he passed out.



 He awoke in The Czar's Palace. Nikola was standing over him gloved with what could only be described as two multi razored, red hot, solid metal, electric brass knuckles. Alexi stood next to him with a ceremonial sword.



 “Hello Uncle” said Nikola in a low voice. “My has it been long since we’ve seen each other though. Don’t worry, I got the eight packages you sent me. They were strange gifts though. One was a bottle of Arctic Vodka. Strangely though, it was poisonous, the ladybug I dropped it on found that out. I was more weary of your next presents. The map of russia with the scorpion on the back. The misfiring assault rifle. Your next package wasn’t even disguised. It was just a bomb. Now that is not entirely legal, is it? Trying to kill the Czar? While you are herby sentenced to torture until death.”



 “No, not till death” Santine said.



 “Is that a light in your hat?’ Nikola asked. “Oh, wait, its a bomb. well, have fun blowing yourself up.”



<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:12px;font-family:TimesNewRoman;"> Nikola strolls out as Santine explodes. Nikola laughs.