The WOB Story



 The WOB Story

 Chapter 1: The School

Boris was dumb. I have said so many times. He was so dumb that he had to go to The Stupid School. The stupid school was a college.

Some of the subjects:

How to stay calm

How to tie shoes

How to tie shoes (Advanced)

How to brush teeth

Pure stupidity

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Applied stupidity

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Theoretical stupidity

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Rhetorical stupidity

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">How to wipe your butt

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">More Stupidity

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">His grades in all of these subjects:

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">How to stay calm F -

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">How to tie shoes C -

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">How to tie shoes (Advanced) D -

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">How to brush teeth F +

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Pure stupidity A +

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Applied stupidity A -

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Theoretical stupidity B +

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Rhetorical stupidity B -

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">How to wipe your butt F - (0%)

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">More Stupidity A

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">On his first day he destroyed the ball pit and broke the playpen. The teachers had to get the silly whip. None of the students liked him. He killed 15 students in his first year and 30 in his second. He killed 60 his third year and 120 his fourth year. He was so dumb that when asked how many he would kill next year he yelled,

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“Me am not to know how to wipe my butt because me fail 240 times.”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">The counselor asked him if that was his final answer. He said no and guessed 2,345 students. Sure enough he killed 2,345 students the next year. During his sixth and final year he met WOB

<p style="text-align:center;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Chapter 2: WOB

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">WOB stood for Wife Of Boris. WOB was fat. Boris made a conservative estimate that she weighed as much as 5 years. She loved him. He loved her. On the last day of school they married. One year later they had a child, Fat Debby. Boris and WOB raised Fat Debby until she was seven.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Soon, Boris and WOB began to fight. Finally, one night, Boris and WOB fought in their home and Boris killed WOB with a streetlamp.

<p style="text-align:center;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:16.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Chapter 3: Crazy Fat Debby

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:16.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Fat Debby was mad. She left the house in the middle of the night. Outside, she stopped a bus with her bare fat and went to Novosibirsk. There she took over a small ghetto. She began to build an army of slaves. They would feed her and clean the poo room. One even had to wipe her butt (Boris never taught her how). Soon she began to destroy buildings. People started to leave town. When I came through the town people begged me to remove her. I said okay and told The Czar’s Finest to fire a “Warning” Shot at her ghetto. They did and the area for 1000 feet around was destroyed. I saw a fat figure walk out and had the Czar Limo take me away.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:16.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">In a recent development we had removed the radiation from Boris so he could not send me back in time anymore. We purified it and created a small lead box with a lighter that could be activated with a long string blowing up the uranium.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:16.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I confronted Fat Debby. I put the box in a CzarDonalds box and told her that it was a value meal. She ate it and I ran away and then pulled the string

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:16.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">

Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:16.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Is what happened. I decided to get drunk at Ivan’s and sign a contract that my advisor proposed…