Nikola Biography

The highly anticipated autobiography of Nikola Medvedev

"A timeless classic"-New York Times

"A story for all ages" Moscow Times

'As my life begins to fade away I realized that I must go over the events in order to find any recompense in the forsaken actions of the Czar. The act of abandoning my family now wants me through every action and step I take. Although the pain is immense I must take this on my own for it would be horrible to share this with the few remaining members of my family. Though as my life draws to a close, here, possibly even today, there is no recourse but to allow these horrid events to rear their heads in my face. I now go over all the details of my life simultaneously. My birth, childhood, family religion, trip to America, tenement house, and job on Ellis Island flow forth but I do not stop them from enveloping my being in what remains of the few hours left in my life. '

I feel anxious just as we have departed Moscow feeling that something horrible may transpire. With my two children Wife and Mama we make our way into the town. We are now halfway from Moscow to St. Petersburg. As the first shot are fired I realize how horrible a mistake I made in messing with the Czar. In the lush countryside with stones beautifully crafted upon the rolling hills, the shot rang out like that of the death note. The steel bullet embedded itself in my nine-year-old neck. The horses immediately stopped, and began trouncing upon everything. My body lay there bleeding to death as more of the czar's soldiers poured into the town square. They knocked the carriage over with their sheer force and ripped my mother out of the carriage. They brutally tied her to a chair and forced her to watch the horrible scene. The soldiers ripped my 12-year-old out of the carriage and threw him on the rearing horses, which under he was crushed to death. My wife and I were riddled with bullet holes as the carriage erupted into an inferno, with the ringing of the czar’s laughter all-consuming in my ears…



Then I woke up from my nightmare. Lenny is now in my dreams. As we are exiting Moscow on our carriage I recall my childhood, how happy it was then with their worries such as the ones that I am forced to confront now. It's still light out and the valleys cast tall, proud, shadows throughout the lesser, lower landscape. Our carriage then came to a halt in the cleared land and I helped my mother exit the carriage, while I fetched the horses some water. We then lit a fire and put logs down to sit upon. My mother began to tell joyful stories of the time I was a child.

I was born August 19th, 1872, when my mother was 23 years old. I was an only child for my entire life. When I was four years old, I began to work on the farm giving her horses water. My father worked as a minor official for the czar at that time. I only saw him on Sundays, every other week. When I was eight, my mother began giving lessons to me about the wonders of the human body. That sparked my medical career. We were of a very small minority, since we were Jewish, and are most of our neighbors were Christian. This was not much of a problem, until I attended a college in downtown Moscow. I centered myself with many of the other people who were Jewish, including the person who is now my wife. She told of the time when I almost drowned as I fell into the Creek. It was certainly very embarrassing to have my children hear that. We laughed for a while about the wild and zany stories that my mother told, and then all went to bed in the carriage. The next day we covered 100 miles, and reached our halfway point. We had another fun night like the last one, and once again went to bed.



The next day, we encountered a problem. One of our horses was ill. We feared that he would spread the sickness to the rest of the horses. So we had to shoot him. This debacle lasted an entire day, burning through much of our time to get to the ferry. As we now had three horses instead of four, we only covered 75 miles the next day. We had to cover 125 miles, and be at the port within two days. We arrived at the port with two hours to spare. The stone arches of the port made me feel uncomfortable. We finally boarded the ship. The ship was five floors from deck to bridge, and 200 feet long. We luckily had a 100 square-foot room and two beds, due to my mistake of paying extra. It was a lucky mistake, though, because my wife thought that I orchestrated it. Every day when we went out to catch the sea breeze, we saw those in the hull of the boat yearning for some light and air.

It was a three-week journey and we encountered little to no resistance until a horrible storm came and we are blown off course. We ended up going 500 miles further south than we should have so we were offshore somewhere near the Carolinas. It took us another week to find our way to Ellis Island. The horrible foods were in stark contrast to the sometimes beautiful conditions of the sea. My children were very rambunctious and often socialized with the commoners in the lower decks. I did not want them catching some potential illness while we are on board this rat's nest of filth and slop. Having a medical degree I knew exactly the work could be arduous if one of my children got sick. I also knew the horrible materials within the lower decks unfortunately many of the children in the lower decks were not very lucky. Many a child succumbed to the illness ridden pit of the hull. Eventually several of the ill had to be quarantined within an enclosed room in the engine room. My mother did not fare well to the rocking motions of the ocean. She was seasick and lost some of her already scarce weight.

The end could not come soon enough for me. Eventually we saw the Statue of Liberty and drove past the neighborhood of Brighton Beach on Coney Island I pointed and told my children that that was the area that we would be living in. It took us one hour to get on to Ellis Island my family was the first family off the boat I excitedly told my children wife and mother that this was the land of opportunity. I was so thrilled that I unconsciously slipped from French to German to Russian to English and back to German. I told the children that I would go through first followed by my mother then them and finally my wife. Well going through I met to very unpleasant man walking around barking at the immigrants with an appalling Scottish accent. He introduced himself as Arny Shilankee.

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">The process through was fairly smooth and I engaged in a conversation with the health station worker. He asked how much education I had and asked me about a perplexing case involving a Swedish person who had gotten zero vaccines but had never been sick. He pondered whether he should let that immigrants through or deport him. I said that if he showed no indication of becoming sick then he should be let through. The person at the health station agreed and sure enough this immigrant was let through. I proceeded to the vocation station. This station was quite challenging for me because my only career was in that of a medical. Arny Shilankee approached me and claimed that I had a problem with my health papers. He obviously founded issue with my being there. I asked him to confer with the medical examiner to figure out exactly what the problem with my papers was. I wisely had all of my papers so when I was sent to the deportation station I simply showed them all my clearance and they released me to my wife, kids and mother outside. You could see Arny Shilankee bristling with fury.

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">We took a ferry to Coney Island and the neighborhood Brighton Beach. I walked into a local real estate office and met with one of the agents. I had sent him a telegram the day before we left Moscow. He welcomed me into the office and set me down.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“So you're looking to buy a house today” he said.

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“If there are any available but a tenement house would work” I replied. “As long as it's large enough to comfortably accommodate five people.”

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“Of course we can find one large enough Mr. Medvedev” he said in a businessman fashion.

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“As long as it's a moderate place to raise a family” I once again replied.

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“I have one in mind. It's a little bit far from here but we can walk.”

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“That's fine I prefer walking where I go” I said. “My dear mother children and wife can stay here.”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“Now that that's been sorted out we can begin on our trek there”

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“How long will it be” I asked.

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“Oh no more than a 10 min. walk” he said. “We will spend about 50 min. reviewing the place and we should be back in time for lunch”

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“That's good I would hate to keep the family waiting for too long”

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">We set out of the building and began our walk to the tenement house. It seemed to me like we came across so many new Russians. For part of the time we strolled past the sea and saw another boat headed to Ellis Island. I smiled thinking about how we were there only hours ago. Such an amusing thought. Soon enough we arrived at the tenement house. It was five stories tall with about 2000 ft.² per floor. I saw many other Russians entering and exiting the building.

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“We're going to have a lot of neighbors” I said

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“They’re going to be quite a chore to contend with” this real estate agent said jokingly

<p style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">The specific room he was looking at was on the third floor at the West corner. It was the largest apartment in size in the building. It would be costing me about $1000. We had kept the money in a small steel box with us on Ellis Island and the boat. We reviewed the five room apartment which was 750 ft.². We made our way back to the office. We decided that we really enjoyed the tenement house. I asked my wife for the box with the money in it and she said that she had given it to one of the employees to put in the safe. The real estate agent said that we didn't have a safe. I began to grow frantic. The box had our entire savings in it and now it had spontaneously disappeared.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“How long ago did you give it to the employee,” I asked in a very probing manner.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“Right before you got back here,” she said

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I was extremely frustrated that my wife had allowed the mysterious character to ascertain the whereabouts of our safe much less the safe itself. She should've never given it away without watching where it was set down. It was almost as if she threw a stone of gold into the mud with a blindfold on. I realize that this was not the time to be fighting and that we needed to collaborate rather than argue to obtain the location of the safe

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">in the present which is now 1964 the $1000 would be worth about 8000. Recalling that frantic day I laugh remembering how simple the situation was to solve and how the rising hysteria stifled the creative process which might've allowed me to finalize the location. Once again I involuntarily slip into my daydream with the feeling that I won't be returning to the present for a longer time than before.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I quickly figured out from the manager of the establishment that a person had left carrying a small safe that matched the description through the back door 2 min. ago. I sprinted out the back door and bolted across the street oblivious to what was going on next to me. All I heard was a faint groan. There is a bar across the street and I assumed that the person would go over there to drink several vodkas assuming they were Russian. Several people might've taken a negative cue when I ran into the room with an angry look in my eyes I looked around for a black safe but saw no such thing. I was very angry and disappointed but nonetheless I allowed myself to remain calm and walked back into the office.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I came back to my wife in a panic. With no money we couldn't move in. We couldn't even afford food I had enough money to pay for the tenement several months’ rent and some food in the safe and a small amount of money in my pocket. I had counted on having a comfortable time to set in before getting a job but now I would have to find a job immediately. If I'd known that this was going to take place that I would've taken the box myself. I couldn't allow myself to get angry in a time when I would meet my decisive thinking but my rage consumed me. I began speaking in multiple languages yelling out things of random texts and tones. I would rather be tortured by the czar homeless and jobless in a new land where we had no friends not even an acquaintance. We would have to find someone to move in with for the time. Several minutes had passed since I discovered the unfortunate news. I ran outside to see if I could spot anyone. I looked all around and saw a pair of legs. I once again heard that groaning. I looked down in an irritated fashion annoyed that this person would cause me such an inconvenience at a dire time like this. I examined the body and saw that he was reaching limply for something in the trash heap I felt a surge of hope just as he caught hold of…………………………………. his grocery bag. My nostrils flared so large that there was about an inch of dead skin there for years afterward. I turned around and saw another person sprawled on the ground reaching limply for another thing in another trash heap.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“I'm so angry I'm seeing double,” I said.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">My wife walked out to see what the matter was in the man on the ground that I was looking at cringed at her sight.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">She said “you're that person who took my safe”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I looked in the trash pile and saw that there was indeed a black box there. I opened it up and sure enough $1000 was in it. I started doing my happy dance in the middle of the street. A person on a horse-drawn carriage began yelling at me and telling me in a very imperative fashion to get off the road. I walked inside and told everyone the good news. I walked outside and did my gloat dance to the person who had stolen the box. I ran inside and did my I can pay this dance to the real estate agent. I was so busy doing my multiple dances that I didn't notice when the person who had violated my boxes secrecy got up with a knife in his hand and held it to my neck. I kept doing my dance until my wife yelled at me that a person was about to kill me.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I said “you can kill me but you can't take my money. I still have pride”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">He said “makes no difference to me which order I do it in.”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">As he was about to stab me my mother threw a book on the police at him which knocked him off balance and caused him to fall down. The knife cluttered out of his hand. I picked it up and did the I got your knife and you don't have it now dance. He lay on the ground in shame while I paid $950 for the tenement house. The original price was going to be $951 but I'm an iron negotiator so I lowered the price quite significantly. As soon as we left I spent the one dollar that I had made on an antique basket which broke when I dropped it. We eventually got to the apartment and the new neighbors greeted me. The tenement house came with the furniture. I originally love that idea until I realized by furniture they meant the three blocks of wood that served as the chairs in the living room.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“We paid $30 extra for that” I said.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Ignoring me my wife said, “I really like the crown moldings here”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">That gave me an idea. I removed all the crown moldings from the walls and put them out in a yard sale with the three blocks of wood. Surprisingly people paid $40 for all that. Only later did I realize that the crown molding was antiquing and could've sold for $300. We use the extra money to go shopping for furniture. I decided that to save money we would buy wood and nails I worked all day to make several pieces of furniture. My wife made all that cozy the stuff to put on the furniture. It took us several weeks to get settled in. The neighbors were overly social so they intruded every several minutes. I began on the very long road of unemployment.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I didn't have a job for about three months. I lived off the money in my pocket and in the small box. We settled in quite nicely after I persuaded the neighbors to stop talking to us. Eventually I received word that the one health station employee was quitting. He specifically requested that I feel is position. Since all I had to do every day was do my dances I eventually grew bored. So I decided to take his job. Finally my first day on the job arrived. Then the horror Struck. As I was walking by I saw the czar's official. The one who blackmailed me and had set the czar on a careening course towards my family. He didn't recognize me when he passed through the health station and I knew I had to act. I swapped his health papers out with a person who had rabies. Unfortunately was much later that I had learned that that person began biting people around Manhattan and spread a quick plague. The czar's official was immediately deported and I was officially scam artist.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I realized that now I had Arny Shilankee as one of my colleagues. The next day he got a promotion. Now he was my boss. It was impossible to work with him yelling at everyone I'd be trying to give someone a shot and he would walking in yelling as I accidentally stabbed them. My children were growing up really quickly as my oldest child was about to celebrate his 13th birthday. My youngest child was now 10. I rarely saw them but my elderly mother kept an eye on them while my wife worked as a waitress in a bar. I think she did it for the free vodka. I never drink so when she'd come home almost drunk I'd say “you need to stop with this drinking thing.”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Then she'd say “I gha nvam noooot druuuuuuuuuuuuuunk”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I'd say “yeah you are”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Then she would pin me to the floor and begin beating me up while I screamed like a two-year-old girl in an iron press. That's why a avoided home. I let her do her thing and I stayed in a hotel almost every night with the money I made every day. Most days on Ellis Island went like this: seven o'clock get out of bed

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Eight o'clock drag myself out of bed

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Nine o'clock crawl to the kitchen table

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">10 o'clock work up the nerve to pour myself some cereal

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">11 o'clock get ready to walk out the door

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">12 o'clock I would finally arrived at Ellis Island

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">One o'clock Arny Shilankee would yell at people

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Two o'clock he would continue yelling

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Three o'clock I would finally get to my station

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Four o'clock Arny Shilankee would be so busy yelling that I'd make a mistake

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Five o'clock more yelling

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Six o'clock my eardrums would be of ready to burst

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Seven o'clock I would begin walking out with him following me while yelling

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Eight o'clock I would check into the hotel for the night

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Nine o'clock I would go to sleep

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">10 o'clock sleep

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">11 o'clock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">12 o'clock more zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">One o'clock I would sneak out of the hotel room and go back to my tenement house

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Two o'clock sleep

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Three clock sleep

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Four o'clock sleep

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Five o'clock my wife would get up and I would hide in the closet

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Six o'clock I would fall asleep in the closet

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">This is my daily schedule. It was hard adjusting to the new life where I was in bed for hours. As a person can well imagine it wasn't easy for me. My worst day ever was when my wife figured out that I was staying in a hotel. She quickly narrowed it down to the old inn that stood about a block away from our tenement house. So when I was in nappy time she intruded and began beating me up with a potato sack. I said

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“I paid for those and I don't even like some mashed”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">She ignored me. Afterward Arny Shilankee yelled at me because i was better than he was. I really hate when he gets like this. An hour later I figured out that he had gotten promoted. His first act was to take away $10 of my monthly paycheck. I've wrote a nice complaint that detailed that I hated him and that I wanted my money back or he'd have trouble and as a result of that I got another $10 taken out of my monthly pay. Then I tried the sentimental approach.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I said “but my mother is dying and I need a little bit of money to keep her alive.”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">He believed me but he said “I don't care what happens to your mother I just care that your life is miserable”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I went back to the hotel and found out that it had been burned down by a mad drunk Russian woman whose last name was Medvedev. I looked for another hotel but this one was closed and looked like it had a broken window.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I went back to the tenement house and asked the neighbors if I could sleep there but they said “your wife is threatening us and saying that if you sleep here she’ll burn the tenement house down”.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I sighed and went back to our apartment I saw my wife there looking at me incredibly irritated. Life went on like this for about a year. Then came my son's 14th birthday. I thought we should just do a little private thing but my wife insisted on inviting the entire neighborhood.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“What do you not get about me having a limited paycheck woman” I said

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">She glared at me and I shrank into a little chair.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“Fine we can spend some money but the only thing I'm spending any money on is a bear on a unicycle. I just feel like it would remind me of home.” I said

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Then the party came. My now 12-year-old son whose name I still forget asked me why is he never had a big birthday party.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I was viewing my life so I said “well because we didn't care”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">He ran away crying and I patted myself on the back. Unfortunately somehow Arny Shilankee had found out how to get to my house. He walked around and yelled at my wife. I couldn't help myself so I broke down laughing. Finally someone besides me gets to suffer. They began yelling at each other and I had to admit they were pretty evenly matched. Then the bear on the unicycle arrived. I ran over to it and begin cheering the bear didn't notice me since I'm only 5 foot one and 102 pounds. I heard an antique glass vase shattered and so my wife yelling at him to get away.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">He hopped in his little gas guzzling car and I muttered under my breath “he needs to stop carbon emissions.”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">For every $10 I made I kept $2.50 in the safe that used to contain the money that we used to buy the tenement house with. I was hoping to live in extravagant retirement. With inflation though every day my money became worth less and less and my wage never got better. I then thought up a get Rich quick scam. I would go to the currency exchange and exchange money into a different currency. As the value of that currency went up I would take it out. I would do this every day and every day I made a little bit of money. Then came the day that I got so fed up with my manager that I had to quit.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">It was 1920 and Arny Shilankee put down a bill that said if you worked at Ellis Island in your productivity was under 10 immigrants a minute you would be taxed. He also said that if the quality was low then you would be taxed. I wrote another kind letter to him addressing my concerns. I asked him to just fire me so I wouldn't have to stoop to the moral low of quitting my job. His exact words were

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“I'm going to work you like a slave until you fall dead in the field. I'm going to squeeze you like an orange until you turned to dust. I'm going to work every ounce of your Will out of you until you're a mindless husk sitting at your desk. The only thing you mean to me is getting a good progress report. If you want to leave then you will have to fight me for it.”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">He walked back to the ferry port and posted a sign that said closed.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">“No one leaves until we get 10,000 immigrants through here perfectly”

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">At that point I was ready to push him in the water and swim for my life but instead I got up on a wooden box and began pep rallying the other workers of Ellis Island. By the time I was done everyone was yelling and throwing furniture around. Arny Shilankee was promptly fired but his last act made sure that I could never get a job on Ellis Island again.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I was 48 and much too young to be retired. My wife of course gave me grief about being fired. She never realized that I was the one who is suffering most and she still entered vodka drinking induced periods of no communication due to her job at the bar. Then I realized that most of the children in our tenement house were very uneducated. Most of them didn't even know how to basically add or subtract. So I decided to start a little class in one of our spare rooms. I charge a heavy admission price but the results were quite worth it. I was very upset when I walked in on my first day and saw all the children yelling and howling. The subjects went like this English

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">German

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Russian

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">French

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Math

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Anatomy

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Health

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Diagnostics

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Comedy

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Health

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Cardiac

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Hating on Arny Shilankee

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Anatomy

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Each class was about half an hour. We had a six hour school day. The admission price was $400 for the entire year. Many of the parents didn't want this but then I threatened them by locking my doors at night so they could come in. I know that I'm really harsh but that's all I could do to keep my working status. Eventually I bought a dog whip and threatened to hit any of the children that were out of line. They didn't believe me and many of them had long scars on their back for the rest of the day. Eventually I put on such a persona of a resentful evil teacher that they all worked hard in class. I really didn't care about the children's educations I was just looking for a way to make a quick buck.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">When I was going to the currency exchange one day to make some money I met a person who would worked at Ellis Island with me. His name was Thor. I didn't like him because he had a salary one dollar higher than mine. He insisted on coming over to my place for a drink. I said that I'm allergic to vodka which I wasn't. He believed me so he asked about beer. Once again I said no. He continued asking about various alcoholic drinks until I ran away screaming pretending that he was trying to mug me. It was impossible to get him to stop chasing me until I told an old lady that he was trying to steal her purse. He assumed I was horsing around and thought that I had a good sense of humor.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">I realize that with him I could get my job on Ellis Island back. My teaching career had hit an all-time low when none of the students had showed up for class. I told him to take me to Ellis Island with him where i would throw the other health employee in a closet have him officially change his name and received his paycheck while Thor stood guard at the door. Once again I was making money at Ellis Island to spend on staying at a hotel to stay away from my wife.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">As it turns out all the students had gotten the flu the one day they were all absent. The next day they all showed up to class as they normally would expect to see a teacher. Since I wasn't there they all ran out yelling in an array and I think that they forgot all about every little lesson that I taught them. I don't like those students. It was impossible to teach with them anyway and I got several notes from the parents saying that their child had come home traumatized. I guess I just wasn't too good at this teaching thing.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">My mother was doing very nicely as she's now 71. She showed no sign of decay of any sort and she still walks around the block every day. I think she does that to get out of our house. I can't believe we've already spent three years in America.

<p style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%">'<span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin">Though only a few minutes have probably passed since I began on my montage it feels as if every little detail of my life even the ones that I did not recognize continued to come forth upon me as of now. My body suddenly is feeling much weaker. I know I'll only have a few more minutes left but I want ever so much to going back into that graceful montage in which time was a complete and utter illusion. Minutes were years but seconds were hours it was such a paradox where I could live forever within the hollowed shell of my body reminiscing on the memories. More so I would know that when the reminiscing ceased to exist I to would fall. I crave that feeling of flying through time as free of a Condor would. As of now I am at a loss for I don't know how to return to the beautiful feeling that I was experiencing earlier. The pain wells up inside of me for every thought sends confusion to me. I have no idea what is going on now for i appear to be very quickly spinning in a motion that goes back and forth to and fro. I could no longer understand exactly what was happening. More pain inundated me with waves and walls of force. The macabre and malevolence of the situation came upon me. I fell on the floor in my life continued to go past me in segments flying past at light speed. I didn't know what was up in what was down but I suddenly saw myself back at my tenement house. Then I watch myself with her and I saw the future perhaps only a minute away my death completely imminent. Goodbye my world. '

[[Category:h]]