Nikola's Dairy September 1912

9/21/12
I finally woke up today. I opened my eyes and saw Boris standing over me. I freaked out and slapped him. He retaliated by giving me a bear hug. I escaped and sprinted until I was breathless. I looked back and saw that I had ran almost ten feet. Boris was right in front of me blocking the door. I pulled out my flare gun and shot him in the face. He ran away crying and saying "I am loved of you Friend." I as always ignored him and ran up the stairs. When I was at the top I heard him start running to the top. I dashed into the nearest room which happened to be the fermentation room. We currently had 4012.6 gallons of Vodka in the vat of potatoes. Boris got to the top of the stairs and walked into the room of fermentation. I quickly threw my coat into the vat. I had a plan to severely hurt Boris. The vodka was in such a pure state that it was very flammable. I still had my flare gun. Sure enough, Boris jumped into the vat. I fired and hit the vodka point blank. It ignited in a fiery explosion. The last thing I heard before I blacked out due to heat was Boris's scream. It made me feel good inside.

9/22/12
Boris was in the Hospital. He will be there for at least a week. Meanwhile, Russia is invading Spain today. Our fleet includes 100 Czar's Biplanes 20 The Czar's Finest Icebreakers, 10 of The Czar's Finest Icebreakers, 2 Czar's Battleships, an infantry of 10,000 of The Czar's Finest, and my personal blimp. We began our attack on Spain at 1:30. I made no differentiation between Spain or Portugal so we destroyed the country within 2 hours. By 4:00 we had reached the Spanish border I set my blimp down in Lisbon and called my biplanes to separate the city from the country via bombing. At 5:30 I landed in the outskirts of Madrid. All troops and tanks on my ship were deployed to invade the city. The division of ships was demolishing Barcelona Unfortunately my biplanes were doing aerial bombings of villages and the Spanish military was attacking my blimp with trucks. I called in 500 more biplanes from Moscow and retreated to Andorra to await the next day of the war.